Death of me: Proof and purpose
Death...It's not something we like to think about or reflect on but I had a moment a while back which led me to write this blog title and never follow through with a post.
Jesus died to save us...many people die each day...we all have grieved the loss of a loved one, friend, or pet...and the Bible tells us to die to self...DIE...there are a million things that happen through out our life that we are sure we will "die" about but what does it mean to die to self?
I will say when I rededicated my life to Christ in 2004 something in me changed. I had been raised in the church and even answered a few alter calls as a child and rebellious teen but had never had this real change in my heart. When I rededicated my life to the Lord I knew that I was not the same I had a desire to do what was right in the Lord's sight. I started a journey...to my impending death...but I didn't know that then.
I would like to say everything changed quickly but it did not...I slowly began going to church every Sunday and stopped making excuses as to why I had valid reasons to stay home. Then I began going every mid-week service as well. It was not long after I began to watch my mouth and drop some key words from my vocabulary. Shortly after this I found that I did not get much fulfillment from certain company, and some found they no longer enjoyed my company. Then came my media entertainment...movies, music, books, TV...everything changed...if it was filled with language, sex, anti-christian undertones or blatant remarks I threw it away.
Big changes were made in my life, and I was OK with all of them. Some happened very close together and at times I was overwhelmed by the drive in me to do what was right and make my home a place where God was always honored. "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" those 11 words are my driving force...I pray God gives me a man driven by those same 11 words (but that is for another post)...Things were changing I was but a shadow of who I once was...
3 years ago God moved me into a new church and I began hearing more and more preaching on dying to self and picking up your cross...I knew these things and I could apply them to my life as I had laid down so many things from the former me in order to serve the Lord.
So this brings me to the death end of things...I will try to cover this without offending anyone...For the most part death is a process. Your body wants to live your brain is programed for survival so when it comes to people getting ill or getting old the body fights and does everything it is capable of doing in order to sustain life. (I understand some people go quickly for various reasons but for my lesson I learned in this I compare it to natural old age) Death becomes a journey, systems begin to shut down and then the times comes when your earthly body is no more. It is a scare thing as no one reading this has ever experienced this process of death...It is unknown and I think because of this we avoid those places in the Bible that tell us to die.
Where is all of this coming together? And what is my lesson learned?
I was blessed with a new car and I will write about that later because I do not believe I have yet...My previous car was a rather bright green and people knew me and saw me every where. I am fairly car blind and if there is not something that stands out about your car I will not see you because all cars look alike to me...People wave at me all the time and they go unnoticed by me until I am well past them and waving at no one because I realized it way too late...My new car is silver and has nothing major that sticks out about it. (I had trouble finding it in parking lots the first month or so lol) Because I am getting used to a new car I have noticed I am much more aware of the cars around me and I am actually noticing people I know in passing now...problem is NO ONE notices me...
One evening I was driving home and I must have waved at 3-4 people I knew and no one waved back. I started thinking about friends I visit out of town and no one would know me driving through now because of my new car...There are friends that I run into only because of my car...we have lost touch and then I happen to pass them while they are walking and they get my attention or whatever...So this made me a little sad then I realized those "friends" are people who knew the old me and now the very last thing that would identify me to them is gone...in essence I am dead...Laid my life down a new creation in Christ...Crucified with Christ yet I live...Irony here...I was listening to "Death of Me" by Royal Taylor when I had this Ah Ha moment
Now that is encouraging! Yet I live! The old has past away...the last breath of my old life was taken in my green car getting totaled. I felt a funny little sense of loss in this realization. Not that I long for my old life, just that it was complete and in a sense there was a symbolic closure with my car that so identified me being gone. That girl is no more...But I learned so much from her, this is when I realized the proof of who I once was and my driving purpose for who I am now and am still becoming, are one in the same. My daughters...without them I would not be who I am because God reached me through their lives, but without who I once was I would not have them. What a blessing to have proof of a life lived like hell be your purpose for a life lived eternally...Crucified with Christ yet I LIVE! "I" am no more but Christ is me lives on. I pray my light shines I pray the death of me is a testimony to the lost I pray that the proof of who I once was continues to be my driving purpose to live a life pleasing to God, and I pray that you are not afraid of death to self because oh the life you gain!!
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20
Jesus died to save us...many people die each day...we all have grieved the loss of a loved one, friend, or pet...and the Bible tells us to die to self...DIE...there are a million things that happen through out our life that we are sure we will "die" about but what does it mean to die to self?
I will say when I rededicated my life to Christ in 2004 something in me changed. I had been raised in the church and even answered a few alter calls as a child and rebellious teen but had never had this real change in my heart. When I rededicated my life to the Lord I knew that I was not the same I had a desire to do what was right in the Lord's sight. I started a journey...to my impending death...but I didn't know that then.
I would like to say everything changed quickly but it did not...I slowly began going to church every Sunday and stopped making excuses as to why I had valid reasons to stay home. Then I began going every mid-week service as well. It was not long after I began to watch my mouth and drop some key words from my vocabulary. Shortly after this I found that I did not get much fulfillment from certain company, and some found they no longer enjoyed my company. Then came my media entertainment...movies, music, books, TV...everything changed...if it was filled with language, sex, anti-christian undertones or blatant remarks I threw it away.
Big changes were made in my life, and I was OK with all of them. Some happened very close together and at times I was overwhelmed by the drive in me to do what was right and make my home a place where God was always honored. "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" those 11 words are my driving force...I pray God gives me a man driven by those same 11 words (but that is for another post)...Things were changing I was but a shadow of who I once was...
3 years ago God moved me into a new church and I began hearing more and more preaching on dying to self and picking up your cross...I knew these things and I could apply them to my life as I had laid down so many things from the former me in order to serve the Lord.
So this brings me to the death end of things...I will try to cover this without offending anyone...For the most part death is a process. Your body wants to live your brain is programed for survival so when it comes to people getting ill or getting old the body fights and does everything it is capable of doing in order to sustain life. (I understand some people go quickly for various reasons but for my lesson I learned in this I compare it to natural old age) Death becomes a journey, systems begin to shut down and then the times comes when your earthly body is no more. It is a scare thing as no one reading this has ever experienced this process of death...It is unknown and I think because of this we avoid those places in the Bible that tell us to die.
Where is all of this coming together? And what is my lesson learned?
I was blessed with a new car and I will write about that later because I do not believe I have yet...My previous car was a rather bright green and people knew me and saw me every where. I am fairly car blind and if there is not something that stands out about your car I will not see you because all cars look alike to me...People wave at me all the time and they go unnoticed by me until I am well past them and waving at no one because I realized it way too late...My new car is silver and has nothing major that sticks out about it. (I had trouble finding it in parking lots the first month or so lol) Because I am getting used to a new car I have noticed I am much more aware of the cars around me and I am actually noticing people I know in passing now...problem is NO ONE notices me...
One evening I was driving home and I must have waved at 3-4 people I knew and no one waved back. I started thinking about friends I visit out of town and no one would know me driving through now because of my new car...There are friends that I run into only because of my car...we have lost touch and then I happen to pass them while they are walking and they get my attention or whatever...So this made me a little sad then I realized those "friends" are people who knew the old me and now the very last thing that would identify me to them is gone...in essence I am dead...Laid my life down a new creation in Christ...Crucified with Christ yet I live...Irony here...I was listening to "Death of Me" by Royal Taylor when I had this Ah Ha moment
Now that is encouraging! Yet I live! The old has past away...the last breath of my old life was taken in my green car getting totaled. I felt a funny little sense of loss in this realization. Not that I long for my old life, just that it was complete and in a sense there was a symbolic closure with my car that so identified me being gone. That girl is no more...But I learned so much from her, this is when I realized the proof of who I once was and my driving purpose for who I am now and am still becoming, are one in the same. My daughters...without them I would not be who I am because God reached me through their lives, but without who I once was I would not have them. What a blessing to have proof of a life lived like hell be your purpose for a life lived eternally...Crucified with Christ yet I LIVE! "I" am no more but Christ is me lives on. I pray my light shines I pray the death of me is a testimony to the lost I pray that the proof of who I once was continues to be my driving purpose to live a life pleasing to God, and I pray that you are not afraid of death to self because oh the life you gain!!
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20
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